It's all about pattern-matching. You (actually your brain) try this and try that, and if something doesn't fit into a pattern it is rejected. What do you think all these images you see, for example, in the clouds are? If you were a cat you would definitely see mice or another cat. That's true for a stable consciousness. But if you're under some drug a pattern is not rejected. Well, then it's really messy. You're like an old radio trying to catch and tune in to some sense in all that noise and chaos. It's not a pleasant thought though — being just a robot with a sophisticated mind. Try to put up with this idea — you're not a free agent. Just a puppet. Maybe it's god who's pulling the strings. Who fucking knows. Let it flow.